Random Conversations
Bits and pieces taken from conversations that are just so hilarious out of context.
Brian: and don't go poking me with sticks
Josh: I don't poke unarmed men
Brian: what's that supposed to mean?
Josh: it means you won't have much trouble in those tight riding jeans
Brian: hahaha well thanks. you can help me try them on
Josh: and then we can go searching in the lingerie department for something special for the evening ;-)
Melana: Hey, I'm not the sharpest shoe in the shed.
Me: ...Shoe?
Craig: Yeah, see, that row has Sasha, who's a native speaker, Evan and Joe, who are really smart, Tatiana, who's obviously incredibly intelligent, and Sarah, who...who's...umm...
Me: Thanks, Craig.
Rachel: Who's Jewish.
Craig: Yeah, who's Jewish.
Kate: So how did it go, Miss I'm-not-participating-because-I'm-too-cool-for-school?
Me: Umm...I was amused by boys fighting wasps.
Kate: Who won?
Me: I think it was a tie.
Kate: Well, the wasps has an unfair mental advantage.
Sam: *shows me bite marks on shoulders*
Me: See...that's why you don't have biting contests with Art.
Sam: I won though!
Me: Did you now?
Sam: Yeah! I almost made him cry. It was really funny.
Me: ...Making Art cry would amuse you?
Sam: Yeah.
Brad: So all we have to do is give Sarah a taser and have her go around shocking anyone who talks if they haven't raised their hand.
Josh: Or even better, give her a glock. She'll sit way over in that corner *pointing* and then everyone else will sit over here, facing away from her, just knowing that there's a gun aimed at their backs. And she can pick off anyone who talks.
Brad: No, we don't want to kill the people.
Josh: No, see, Sarah will be very highly trained, and if need be, she can just shoot off an arm or something.
Key Club Conversations:
Me: Yeah...see, Dora's trying to get everyone to go inside.
Shreya: Dora can kiss my ass.
Shreya: We should play naked manhunt!
John: I can't believe you just fucking said that.
Shreya: (on phone with mother) *mouths "fucking hell"*
John: (loudly) Did you just say 'fucking hell'?
Shreya: *gestures angrily at John*